As I wheeled my grandad Martin up the ramp and into a taxi which would take him away to the care home, I repeated the white lie my family had agreed might make this painful scenario slightly easier.Thankfully his dementia meant that he couldn't fully understand what was happening or where he was going. In fact, he seemed to quite enjoy the novelty of being outdoors for the first time in months. But my granny and I were raw with emotion.
But as his 10th decade arrived, so did dementia and things started to fall apart. He'd lose track of his words mid-sentence. Making a cup of tea became a challenge. One time the fire brigade descended after he fed a cracker into the toaster. Family rescue efforts were appreciated by my 92-year-old granny, but in truth they were just stop-gaps - like fixing plasters on a broken leg.When lockdown began, the situation only worsened.
Video calls often do little for those with dementia. The notion of holding a"moving picture" of a loved one, as they talk, sounds promising. But it can be a hollow, even disturbing experience. This resonates with my own grandad's experience. Video calls left him more confused than when we'd begun; he could scarcely focus on the screen and struggled to understand where our voices were coming from. The only thing which seemed to cut through was the repetition of a simple message,"I love you, Martin". To which he could still reflexively respond,"I love you too, Bubala.
"We would do relaxing things like colouring in or simple jigsaw puzzles," she says."I would sit and hold her hand, or brush her hair. And over two-and-a-half to three days, I would see her coming alive." In the meantime she's focused the home's efforts on keeping residents as well looked after as possible.
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This is numbingly sad 😢
Spirit of Judy Doggett Wàlker -
Unbelievably this article says “Ageing isn’t for sissies”. Sissies is an incredibly offensive term making effeminate behaviour an insult. should be ashamed.
Estimated 10,000 died during the illegal lockdown. Organised murder.
Thank you for allowing me to be part of Tom's very moving story.
This issue is affecting many thousands of families. Government guidelines on visiting are going to make things worse. Here's why
Thousands of elderly people in lockdown who are suffering ill health are just happy to be alive, many enjoy and prefer their independence and have no wish to be corralled like sheep in a herd community. Good care homes know that even for those poor souls suffering from dementia.
Alzheimer’s sufferers have been massively impacted by both Covid19 directly (high death rate) and because of the in-humane lockdown. If I lost a parent during lockdown I would have been devastated not to be with them at the end and at the funeral. It is good to share this
Britain is to buy looking after illegals & migrants
This has happened to my Dad, with regular visits he knew who we were but with the lockdown when we were finally allowed to see him he no longer recognises us. It's heart breaking 💔
Well at least they won’t know they’re in decline!
Yes but they are still alive and who is to say this wouldn’t have happened anyway. You have my sympathies.
Not all elderly in care homes need round the clock care, pandemic should be a wake-up call for all of us to look after our loved ones at home were possible.....
Aww, that’s hard. You gotta keep physically moving.
To be fair, six months can see a lot of cognitive decline anyway in dementia patients.
Perhaps you need to own your role in Project Fear . You fully supported and promoted the measures that were introduced that led to this terrible state of affairs.