ATHENS, GA—Saying he would personally be extremely wary of investing in a property with such a fundamental structural flaw, home inspector Samuel Finch warned local couple Irene and Matthew Gilman today that the house they were considering purchasing lacked a banister you can slide all the way down.
“I hate to have such bad news to report, but it’s best you folks know now that the front staircase here does not have a railing you can sit on and zoom all the way down from top to bottom—it’s in pretty bad shape,” said Finch, adding that moving into a home with a banister that is smooth and wide enough to ensure a fast and stable ride would be particularly important if the couple was planning to start a family.
*sigh* maybe the next house
fire the code
Stripper pole?
I have always wanted to do this but I’m afraid my bony ass will start a fire
Worse yet, the existing banister has splinters that has punctured more than a few balls even with clothes.
Sir..... it's a bungalow ...
They are gonna add one next week on a new episode of “This Old House”.
Dude, this one lady, they totally made her rip the whole stairway out for that.
In NYC, where there are literally HUNDREDS of laws and regulations, all residences with a 'stoop' or steps is supposed to have at least 1 railing secure enough to grab upon if needed to prevent falling... yes, even 2 steps... NOT a joke...
Ray Stantz, home inspector
I know its The Onion but.... its true. The banister slide is crucial.
How about a banister I can slide all the way up? I know how specific those home inspectors want you to be when asking a question.
I miss those things.
Lol
you'be got the wrong pic
A house inspection? In this market? Now I know The Onion is satire
ok but is there a part jutting out next to the staircase that you can haphazardly stand on?
There's a zipline Carl, stop being so picky
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My father had a home inspection business, and this is 99% accurate. A qualified home inspector will tell you that the banister should have a newel post at the bottom of the rail to end your slide. And to support the stairs.
Go go gadget bannister
you know this made me think; it's amazing how similar strippers are to little boys.
My first home I'd started buying had one of those - a brick house on Washington Street in Dubuque, Iowa. Its on the West side with an Italian-like veranda on the south side. I see someone modified the entrance, so the staircase may no longer be the same.
Whatever it takes
Inspector_AJ
hey onion my english teacher told us about you today it was pretty funny