When you mention a girls’ home, many people immediately think of problem kids or offenders.
“Some have received death threats from family members such as frazzled mums picking up knives and saying ‘I’m going to kill you’. Picked up by their school or the police, they have been placed at the home for their own safety by the Child Protective Service under the Ministry of Social and Family Development.
“There is a reason why our girls are behaving this way. And it’s really up to us who have not experienced what they have experienced to try to understand them, and journey alongside them,” said director of Gladiolus Place, Michelle Tan. Tan works with a team of care staff and social workers, as well as fundraising, administrative, communication, event and housekeeping staff to support the girls at Gladiolus Place.
Knowing she could not take all the girls home, she decided then and there to transplant her own home into Gladiolus Place.It was the little things. Dinner at 6pm. Everybody – the staff and girls – would sit down at a big table and bond over a simple meal of steamed rice, braised chicken, omelette, stir-fried chye sim and watermelon. Everyone would talk at the same time. It was noisy and lively.
Within a month, Tan confiscated the girls’ phones and instant noodles. Instead, they were given an hour of handphone time, which they had to earn with good behaviour. She also made instant noodles an incentive. By and large, it worked. Most of the girls started to eat nutritious meals, regulate their bedtime and wake up on time for school.You might think that for girls who have gone through so much, a home like this would be a welcome oasis. But the truth is a lot more complicated.
“When they perceive any form of threat, they usually have a fight-flight-fright response – they may fight it out, escape or withdraw in fright. The abuse also affects their personhood, self-image and confidence. “She was eventually able to better manage her emotions and returned to her family. She also got herself into a polytechnic to study,” said Tan proudly.