“I don’t like Chinese,” announced my 8-year-old. I knew this day would come, when my American-born, half-Taiwanese children would reject the language and culture I’d worked so hard to teach them. Time to visit the motherland and win them back. How do you appeal to the hearts of 8- and 12-year-old boys? Unsanctioned time away from school, homework free. Frittering away money at night market games. The cross-cultural allure of amusement parks.
Taiwanese people will drink tea, bubble tea, juice — anything but cold water. Or asking for a fork. Worst case scenario, I fed my much-too-old kids with chopsticks like baby birds. Americans come in all colors and shapes; the Taiwanese are much more homogenous. The drugstore’s makeup aisle offers foundation in exactly three shades: light, lighter, lightest. Forget clothes shopping. My American women’s size medium translated into a Taiwanese 5XL.