San Andreas Fault Feels Terrible For What It’s About To Do

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CALIFORNIA—Saying it feels “really awful” about what is about to happen, the San Andreas Fault issued a preemptive apology Monday to California’s citizenry stretching from San Francisco to Los Angeles. “I hate to say it, but the amount of stress in all three of my segments has reached sufficient levels, and, well, I’ll just be honest here, it’s going to be really bad,” the tectonic boundary said, adding that it felt especially sorry for any Californians currently on the Golden Gate Bridge or in one of the upper floors of the U.S. Bank Tower in Los Angeles. “The thing is, I can’t make it stop. Believe me, I would if I could, but the friction and tension in my plates has been building and building for such a long time, and now they’re going to slip. In 30 minutes. I’m so, so sorry. Last thing in the world I wanted to do.” The San Andreas Fault noted that, on the bright side, the people of Arizona and Nevada are going to love their new oceanfront property.

 

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San Andreas talks like Korg too, I bet.

I can’t Fault it..

Talk about rubbing it in. I mean its name has fault in it. Just saying. It is a seismic complex you are giving a hair line fracture. You ever wonder what kind of shot to the earth this planet must have taken to make that?

Hey! I live next to the fault. No jokes please.

Chillllll I live there

What I'm really afraid of: the San Andreas fault asking the Hayward fault and every fault along the Ring of Fire to unleash their wrath all at once. 😄

dany_prado16 me in uno

McConnortock 👀

Good thing I bought that ocean front property in Arizona

Decides to hand off energy to that no name fault up North in Seattle. No fault divorce.

Absolutely at Fault

It's not its fault.

Land of the heinous, gangbangers, and cold heat.

That is terrorfingly ominous

San Andrea, could you give us a date when you're about to do this?

CJ is ready for it

I know where this is going

It shouldn’t. A fault’s gotta do what a fault’s gotta do

Everybody has a job to do.

Great. Now Tool's 'Aenima' will be in my head for the rest of the day.

Hope youre not going to do a 'simpsons prediction'....

NoRegrets

Wow, it’s all shaken up about whatever it’s about to do.

Nooo.... I’m going to Cali in a few days. Hold tight PLEASE!!

show its crack

Oh, c'mon: everyone knows that it's not San Andreas' 'fault'. 🤭

IcikoMedia 😂

Can't fault it

But it's not its (fault) now, is it?

Yellowstone caldera next plz

It shouldn't tho.

It really shouldn't.

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